044.

actually, i lied. i'm probably going to start up number titles again (and trying to be more careful about it) since i cannot think of interesting titles to save my life.

i had a really weird dream a few hours ago. first of all, lately, i've been getting these "boys have a crush on you" or "boyfriend/girlfriend" dreams which kinda annoys me because i'm a single, anti-social person that doesn't get much of a social life no matter how hard i try, hah. anyways, that's a different story. back to the dream. and yeah, there was this guy that apparently liked me and we got together and the next day, we're taking "artsy" naked pictures together! hell, i don't even know. i have weird dreams, man. then apparently a teacher saw (i'm not in school anymore, btw) and she's all "i looked on your myspace and saw the date of your relationship and now you're doing this?! why?!". first of all, why you on my myspace? XD and, yeah, i just went and ignored her. then i got some official test from the school that nobody ever told me about and i refused to do it or something, i dunno, then i woke up. what. the. hell?

hm, i'm not sure what to talk about. life still sucks, as usual. still living with the abusive brat aka peanut butter (inside joke between me & a friend) aka stupid "mother". i still can't drive even with a permit 'cause my dad's not taking me driving and i don't trust that other jackass (aka peanut butter) in the house. all the "rich kids" are at college and stuff so they're away from home and they have something to do while i'm broke and i "self study" korean which gets poor and i don't really remember anything. people are out having a good time while i'm still here alone because i don't like asking people to come pick me up 'cause i know they're gonna say *INSERT CITY I'M IN HERE* IS TOO FAR! YOU COME HERE! the hell am i supposed to get there, dumbass?

yeah, i don't see myself living much longer. no, i'm not suicidal. what i'm saying is i just don't see myself living by the age of 20. i just can't imagine it, really. hm.